this is what resides inside my back.
5 surgeries later i still have pain but it's manageable if i dont do too much.

more pics:
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EDIT- since theres a lot of people asking,
the reason for this monstrosity in my back:

surgery #1
i was diagnosed with severe scoliosis at 13 with a 60゜curvature that would get worse as i got older. they told me i had stopped growing so wearing a correctional brace was not an option. so comes surgery number one executed by an asshole of a doctor who barely straightened my spine.

surgery #2
i was in constant agonizing pain. every time i saw asshole doctor he took front view x-rays (no side view, at the time it didn't dawn on me that this was odd) and told me it was nothing and i was fine. constant agonizing pain trying to make it through high school. i get a second opinion. one side-view x-ray shows that due to poor installment of instrumentation, my hardware has broken. a screw is permanantly lodged in my spine. the loose hardware digging a hole in my disc every time i move. had my first doctor secured my hardware properly perhaps my future would have been different. nevertheless suing was not an option due to a $1500 cost to have a doctor from the lawyers office examine the evidence. second surgery entailed removing the previous hardware and installing all new hardware, secured every few inches with titanium screws. not only had my first doctor installed my hardware incorrectly, he also made the hardware much longer than it needed to be, limiting my mobility further. thus with this surgery they installed shorter hardware.

surgery #3
still in constant agonizing pain. by this time im walking on a crutch, the pain extending from my back to my hips and leg. i see a third (my current doctor) and various scans and tests later show i've got deteriorating discs. they opened my back up to temporarily remove the hardware, then went through my stomach and replace 2 of my discs with donor bone.

surgery #4
this surgery was done in the same week. previous shortening of my hardware proved to be futile, if anything harmful. added on further hardware. also at this point, a great family friend offered to give us the money to get whatever we needed to sue my first doctor, but unfortunately lawsuits have a time limit of a year. so he got away.

surgery #5
my most recent surgery, and the least complicated of them all. scans/tests showed that i had a compressed nerve at the base of my spine from hardware, they went in and removed what was necessary.

I now walk without a crutch.

I still have pain, sometimes it gets pretty intense but im so grateful it's not how it used to be.

but because my spine is completely fused (think of it as one solid bone rather than a jointed movable spine) except one disc, all the pressure of movement is put on the one disc (i named it Tibi). In the future when i get older, there's a large chance i'll have to have surgeries to fuse my spine to my hip (which apparently is a risky and often unsuccessful surgery).

but im not thinking about that now. i just want to think about the present, not about the past or the future.

just the here and now.